Time is a commodity.
Between school, extracurriculars, and home life, I’ve come to the realization that is this: there is no such thing as free time for me.
It’s been five weeks since school started, and a long, long time since I posted as well. I kept saying to myself “I’ll write a review tomorrow, I’ll read right before bed”.
What I was mainly saying to myself: “I’ll blog when I have some time”.
But the thing is, what I’ve come to learn, is that this is impossible. At least for me. Maybe some other people actually have lives, but clearly, I don’t. There will always be something that needs to be done, tests that needed to be studied for, brains that will need to be rested (although albeit, mine hasn’t been getting much of that lately).
Unless I make time, there will be none.
I had a hard time grappling with this realization for a while. I kept saying that I would just come around to blogging later, that of course, I would have the time to do it. And since my last post was exactly 3 weeks ago, I’ve proven myself wrong.
If blogging is something I want to do, I will have to create time to do it.
It’s no secret I’ve always had issues with procrastination, and have always put things off to the end. Considering I haven’t had a weekend off in the last 3 weeks as well, this isn’t such a bad thing, since I simply don’t have the time. But if I make the time to do homework, to write my Debate speeches, to at least talk with my little siblings, then why can’t I add 20 minutes to my day to read or blog?
I’m always comparing myself to those overachievers that do everysinglething and still manage to look gorgeous every day (if you’ve ever been in school, you’ll know that person). They have so much on their plate, still get perfect grades, and are always amicable. How?? I wonder. Why can’t I be like them?
But here’s the thing: comparing them to me is pointless. I put a lot of time into the activities I’ve chosen to do, and I need to respect that. And respect myself. I work hard, pull 3 AM nights constantly, and sacrifice my weekends for my extracurriculars. Those overachievers probably don’t have to do that. Maybe they do, but honestly, there’s no point comparing myself to them. I’m a totally different person with a completely different situation.
The same thing goes for those bloggers too. You know them, you respect them, and you wonder how in the world they’re so perfect. There will always be those people, in whatever you do, wherever you go. The hard part is accepting that, and accepting that it’s ok that you’re not them. Better, even.
So after much rambling, this is what it comes down to: there will never be time for blogging, at least for me. But because this is something I love, something I cherish, something I can’t go a day without thinking about, I’m going to make the time.
Life’s simply too short to do anything else.